Yes, I DO think it's tough

It's a little past 1 am and here I am still awake, typing crazily into my lappy. Not because my Angela was giving me problems. (She's sleeping like an angel next to me now and passing gas :P). But the fact I am feeling upset with my lovely hubby, who at the moment is out enjoying drinks with his friends (not that I resent it that he is out enjoying and I am stuck at home. Well, maybe a little but that's not the whole point of this entry)

Anyway, was just thinking out aloud in writing bout how glad his friends would feel that there isn't a foreigner among them and they do not need to switch to English to speak that foreigner (that would be me) and they can all enjoy their drinks and conversation in their mother tongue.

When I first came here, I knew nothing of the culture nor the language. Over the period of 1 year here, I learned some and I must admit that I would need to work harder if I want to master the language. Sometimes when I go out with my hubby and his friends, I felt kind of left out. Everyone would be talking and laughing and there I was just sitting there and smiling , trying to make sense of everything. I was prepared for the challenge of adapting to a new life. But not the loneliness I felt even when I was next to my hubby. I really felt out of place and awkward and after awhile, bored.

Fast forward 1 year, the situation is somewhat the same though it's a little better. Managed to understand 50% of the conversation most times but it's so tiring trying to understand their conversation, trying to listen to words and making sense of things. At times like this, I wish the situation is the other way round. I think my hubby had a taste of that when he was in Malaysia with me for 9months but I wouldn't say it's all that bad since most Malaysians can and do speak English.

Am I being too sensitive here thinking that they don't care if I understand? Maybe I'm thinking too much. But sometimes that one person that I hope would notice this fails to and that saddens me. Really saddens me.

How do I make him understand how I feel? How a simple gesture of translating it to me means so much to me for me not to feel left out?

Well, men being men. I think I'd better master the language quickly. That would be less agonising. This entry might upset some people but this is the only way I know where I can vent out my frustrations and not hurt anyone in the process.

Ok, feel so much better now. Time for ZzzzZZZz.

Nite nite!