Bad day

09.10.11 should be a very nice date yeah? Unfortunately, I was hospitalised! Nope, not because I have popped! But because diarrhea and vomiting!! Was in the hospital for 2 days and those 2 days has been agonising for me.

The first day was the worst! I waited in the emergency for 3.5hours although I pleaded with the nurses to let me have a go first cos I kept running to the toilet every 15mins and the toilet is situated quite far! When it was my turn to see the doctor, I practically have not much energy left to even sit straight. My tummy felt pain but I already couldn't differentiate if it's just mere tummyache or contractions. The doctor was afraid that I was actually having contractions, asked me to be sent to the maternity ward with an ambulance!

I was sent to the labor ward and I was all alone. My mom couldn't come in with me, I couldn't bring my mobile with me nor any money. Just myself. Never felt so alone in my life. CTG machine on my right and drip on my left, I couldn't get up from the bed to even do my 'business'. I was given the 'can' to sit on and do it there. I was there for 2hours and watching the clock ticking by was enough to make me cry. Finally, they found that I was not ready to go in-labour, they transfered me to the antenatal ward. How happy I was to be off the CTG machine and first thing I did was run to the toilet! What a horrible experience!


Having said that however, I did learn something from those mothers-to-be like me in the antenatal ward. They shared their stories of being pregnant and told me not to be afraid. Hmm... not to be afraid? Well, I try but how not to???

As the due date is drawing nearer, I am waiting in anticipation and in fear too. But my hubby kept reassuring me that when the time comes, I won't remember the fear anymore as we'll be holding our little baby and all those pain will disappear. Easy for him to say. But I do hope that everything will go smoothly. Praying everyday!

I salute to all mothers in this world especially my mother and mother-in-law! The sacrifices they made for us, nothing can compare to it.

Mixed feelings

Oh gosh! In less than a month, I will be a mother.
Being a mother-to-be has brought many mixed feelings to me. Anxious, scared, happy, jitters, all jumbled up inside me.
I am surrounded by mothers as most of my friends have children of their own and I always seek their advice as I am really blur to what to do. Sometimes I wonder to myself, will I be able to be a supermom to my child just like my mom has been to us? Would I be able to protect her from the harm and bad things around? Would I be able to be her friend when she grows up?
Many, many questions popping in my mind but I know when the time comes, I would know what to automatically.

Now, only now, did I realise that being a mom is not easy.
Kudos to all mothers out there and especially to both my mom and Mother-in-law for being such a pillar of support for me and for all your children!

Sleepless nights!!!

For the past 2-3 weeks, I've been having sleepless nights!!! The pain on my back and now in my ribs is enough to kill me and keep me up all night. Not forgetting having the need to pee every 2 hours or so. Oh gosh!!! Sometimes I wish baby would come faster so that these pain will go away but then I guess when baby comes, that's when the long term "pain" will come too.kkk.

Now, I'm in my 35th week. Getting all the jitteries and excitement already. Everyday I just pray for a safe delivery. And that I'm granted with a bubbly and healthy child.

:P

Hey mister! that's my front gate!

These days, I wonder where have some peoples' brain gone to. You see, my home is located very near to this sparepart shop and there isn't many parking space around here so it's natural that people park their car by the road side. However, some really idiotic drivers tend to either ignore or they are completely blind to notice that there is a BIG gate right where they are parking their car.

This nonsense has happened many times. My sister even tried to put the orange cone (those you find when they are doing roadworks) just at the entrance of my gate only to find it being kicked away later. What a nuinsance these people are!!! I wonder how do they feel if someone parks right in front of their gate. ISH!

Have some common sense people. It's people's front gate. Of course the resident of the home would want to go in and out of their home right??? so, DUH!!!!

Youngsters! Giving me headaches!!!

Are youngsters today more ignorant than when we were their age? I feel that youngsters nowadays hate it when being told or reminded too many times. I mean, I too went through that phase in my life but somehow we still respect the elders and do as we are told, though not willingly. But this is not the case of youngsters now.

For instance, my own younger siblings. Me, being the elder sister tends to nag at them. Yes, I do agree I sound annoying sometimes but hey, it's for their own good. But when I repeat my request once too many times, I get the annoying look from them or sometimes a deaf ear. It's as if I'm talking to the wall!!! This only angers me more and makes me continue with my nagging. Gosh. Feels like I'm an old grandma now.

But do they know, we worried bout them. Worry that something might happen to them especially if they go out late at night? Society these days are not safe. Unlike those times when we were younger. But do they think of us being worried bout them??? No! They only think we are annoying and trying to stop them from doing things that they like.

Just disappoints me so much to see my younger siblings like this. Coming from an average family, my parents would of course love the help they could get around the house. I asked them why didn't they ask the help of the younger ones, their only reply was , "It's better to do it ourselves. Don't want to bother them." This reply angers me and saddens me at the same time.
Don't get me wrong. My siblings are good kids just that they don't know how to appreciate family yet. They are not young anymore but somehow maybe because they got a better life than when I was younger thus making them taking everything for granted.

My only hope is that they will learn to appreciate people and things around them especially our parents for they won't be here very long with us. One day, they will have to move on and leave us to fend for ourselves. By then, it would be too late to even say sorry to them.

Sigh. What can I do to change them? Any ideas?

Would I feel the same?

When I was young, I used to be quite rude to my parents. Defying their every requests and going against them was my nature. But that changed ever since I was away from home for more than 3 years. The first I realised that my parents are getting older when 2 years ago when I invited them to have a long holiday in UK. It was just 1 year that I didn't see them but upon seeing them, I really think they have grown so much older.

Over the course of 3 years away from home, I do admit that it's fault on my part that I did not call home as often as I should. There always seems to be reason for me to not call home but most times, I really did forget being so busy and so tired afterwards.

Now, after 3 years away, I'm home, though not for a long time but long enough to really see that my parents have grown even older. One day looking at them and thinking to myself , how much longer they gonna be here with me made me burst out crying. My husband was dumbfounded as to what happened and he only held me tight till my outburst was over. He is someone who loves his family and treasures them so he understands how I feel. Though sometimes I might be talking loudly to my parents, but deep down it's because I care and want the best for them just like they want the best for us.

I also wonder to myself, now that I'm on my way to becoming a mother, how would it feel when your child shouts at you? Would you think that they don't care bout you? Would you feel that your love and care showered on them have gone to waste?

I guess not. Parents will always be parents. No matter how much they feel hurt by our actions, they never fail to protect us and give us the best. But what do we, as children do? Continue to hurt them and sometimes ignore them not realising they are the reason we are in this world till it's all too late.

So,love your parents now. Don't wait till it's too late to show your filial and love to them. I know I don't show them enough love but I'm trying to compensate for that now.

I love my parents. :-)

It's been a year

Wow! It's been a year since my last entry. Been pretty busy and tied up with many many things. Among others, getting married and now having a baby.
Just felt like penning down my thoughts about my journey to motherhood. I'm not yet a mother. Just on the way. As of now, I'm 7.5months pregnant. I didn't imagine myself getting pregnant, let alone becoming a mother. It came as a surprise but it was a pleasant surprise. Though at first, there were some uncertainties bout having the baby. But now, everything turned out fine.

First, was the worry of how are we gonna raise the baby. Things are just started to fall into place with my new life in Mongolia. And there were also thoughts of leaving Mongolia to further studies. All these were put on hold with the 'surprise'. But my hubby and myself are sure that everything will turn out just fine and that baby is a blessing and a gift.

So, 7.5months now, I'm still walking like my normal speed , in fact sometimes running which I'll get many lectures from many people.kekeke. I'm still getting used to being pregnant that sometimes, I do forget that I am and I tend to bend down suddenly to pick something up till I felt the tummy being squashed! How silly of me.

Baby has started to move alot and kicking some. But she has been really gentle on me from the time she was conceived till now. Oopppsss.... I gave away baby's gender. Yes, it's a girl! And I am really happy!!. She didn't give me much problem, no morning sickness, no vomitting. Just some preference for food that I used to avoid i.e Milk! But so far so good!

I love to feel her moving around cos it makes me giggle and my hubby will be laughing at me for being so silly. well, I'm carrying a baby. So, I can giggle as silly as I want to be as long as I'm happy. Don't you all agree?? =)